It started in the kitchen - in the cupboards and the drawers,
And it spread to every saucer, cup, and plate.
The little mouse became alarmed and ran away, because
The Kitchen Folk were holding a debate!
The Saucepan was the first to speak, and opened the debate
Bemoaning how each day the Mistress got him
Then filled him up with veggies, sat him on a red hot plate,
And left him there until it burned his bottom!
The Kettle, not to be out-done, steamed in to say that she
Was treated in a even harsher way,
Being tortured from the inside, with ELECTRICITY
At least a half a dozen times a day!
The Frypan and the Pressure-Cooker said they suffered too,
Though not perhaps as often as the Kettle.
But the brave Electric-Toaster said, "I suffer worse than you,
Yet don’t complain – though made of thinner metal!"
At which, the Crockery joined in this "heated" argument,
And from the shelf, a China Saucer clattered.
"You pans are really lucky, for you just receive a dent
If dropped. But fragile Pots like us get SHATTERED!"
A Dinner Plate was next to speak, and asked them would they
please
Be quiet and let him have his little say.
"I have to lie upon my back, all slimed with sauce and grease,
Then bathe in boiling water twice a day!"
And then the China Teacups with their hands upon their hips
Said, "Our jobs worse than any of you think!
We’re filled with scalding tea, and people slurp us with their
lips,
And were always getting broken in the sink!"
The big Electric Mixer sat and didn’t say a word.
With his job he was really quite content.
For when the Mistress used him, he just simply stirred and
whirred.
The Mixing Bowl took all the punishment!
The Spoons then told a stirring tale of scalding soup and tea,
And how in people’s nasty mouths they went.
And the next complainants were the very hard-worked Cutlery.
Said they "Us Knives get blunt - us Forks get bent!"
The stove, who’d listened quietly now stood on his feet and
said –
"Your trifling little problems make me tire!
How would you like to sit with heavy saucepans on your head
And your innards all aglow with red-hot fire?"
The Fridge was very much annoyed. The Stove had got her
narked,
And though she did her best to keep her cool,
She opened wide her freezer-door and chillingly remarked
"At least you don’t work day AND night, you fool!"
By now the heated argument was getting rather deep,
The Kitchen Folk were making quite a din.
Their rumpus woke the Mistress and the Master from their
sleep,
But the kitchen was all quiet when they looked in.
The Mistress said, "It’s breakfast time! Let’s have a cup
of tea!
While I light the stove and get the breakfast frying."
Then the Kitchen Folk all suffered in their silent agony -
For, alas, the humans could not hear their crying!
Gerry Forster
